Teaching Schmeaching

"Teaching is not what it used to be".  It's an incredibly true statement.  I went in to teaching cause I enjoyed working with kids.  I had fun making learning new things fun. 

Now, it seems to have nothing to do with the kids and is more about numbers.  I don't understand why teachers are the only ones left who know that all kids learn differently.  It's that simple, but we are not allowed to teach that simply.  We are instructed to teach one way, and one way only.  It's sad that the majority of kids do not learn their best by that one way of teaching.

I used to think that I was a better teacher because I'm a mom.  And I used to think I'm a better mom because I'm a teacher.  But I don't think either is true anymore.  As I'm entrenched in my 10th year teaching, I am NOT a better mom because I'm a teacher.  I exert so much patience throughout the school day, sadly there is little left for my family.  I feel terrible when I realize that I have not allowed my kids to make kid sized mistakes just because I have dealt with similar behaviors all day already.  It's not their fault.  What I have been through in my day should not effect them the way it does.  I wish it was as easy as taking off the teacher hat, and putting on the mom hat.  I wish I didn't have all the emotional baggage that comes in the door with me every day.  But I don't know how to do that yet.  Maybe it's because my heart gets attached to my students, which wouldn't be a bad thing if it didn't have a negative effect on my own children. 

Thus the reasoning to be a stay at home mom.  I know how hard it is.  I do it every summer.  And remember, in the summer, they are not in school so they are with me 24/7.  It's tough stuff, but I'm a better mom in the summer for sure!  I'm sure my kids enjoy me more then. 

Mike and I have managed not to pay for child care.  Juliet is 10 years old and one of us has been at home with the kids each and every day in the last 10 years.  It's a sacrifice we've decided to make.  We don't have lot of extra cash to do many of the things we'd like to, but we don't have tremendous debt either, and we've never let anyone else raise our kids.  Mike is a single parent during the day and I am a single parent at night.  I come home from 20 children not my own, to a husband on his way out the door to work, only to start homework, dinner, piano lessons, soccer practice and 3 kids who need me just as much as I need me!  I'm not sure how to keep going with it.  Prayer and knowing that I can do all things with Him who gives me strength.  That's how I keep going and ONLY that. 

My kids are my joy and it's a choice for me to see that on a daily basis.  I could not be more proud of their academic success, their kind hearts and loving nature, but I'm starting to rethink my career choice because my eyes are often clouded by the time I get to see my joy...my children.