Disability....who knew

I'm still on disability because of the car accident.  I tried to return to work after Thanksgiving, but I was in so much pain after one day, that I just couldn't do it.  I went back to the doc for xrays and have been out of work since.  I have good and bad days.  On the good days I think, "I'm doing better.  I should be back to work in no time.  This isn't so bad." and then I wake up the next day hurting in so many places.  From the base of my head all the way down to my low back.  These days remind me that there is no way I can work feeling like this.  I think, "Maybe if I wasn't teaching the little ones it would be easier." But reality is, that's not true.  I'm injured and I'm having a hard time accepting that still.  I don't want to hurt every day.  It's getting old.

In a world that is so filled with insurance fraud, I am constantly questioning myself.  Asking, am I really hurt that bad?  Sadly the answer is yes.  I thought I'd just be sore for a little bit and then be better.  It's just not happening that way.  I am going to physical therapy, taking muscle relaxers and having the girls do a lot more than they used to around the house.  It all helps, but I am in no way healed.  I don't know what it's going to take.  Probably just more rest and being careful with the everyday things we take for granted.  Vacuuming hurts.  Changing the laundry hurts.  Bending to pick things up hurts.  Sitting in the car for more than a half hour hurts.  Sleeping is not the most comfortable thing anymore.  Crazy.

I went for a message yesterday.  Something that I tend to do on a yearly basis.  It costs a lot of money, normally has HUGE results of relaxation and a feeling of, "Ahhhhh that was nice!" but is hard to justify the cost more than once a year.  But man....that was an AWESOME message.  I felt so good all day yesterday!  It felt so worth the money.  I wish I could go get one every week! 

In all this, I have the best husband.  He has helped with everything.  Not that he didn't before, but he takes such good care of me.  I am so grateful again that God blessed me with him!