Learning to Rest

It's been nearly 3 weeks since my car accident.  My van has been repaired and looks like it did prior to the accident.  I'm very glad to have it back!  My neck and back were doing much better while I was on Thanksgiving break.  However, the first day back to work after a restful break I was feeling way worse than before.  If I had a desk job, it might not be so painful.  But these little Kindergartners are high maintenance full of energy!  I worked 4 days this past week and was in so much pain, I went back to the doctor yesterday.  Xrays were done and he has requested that I do not return to work until after the new year.

I must admit...about 2 months ago I would have jumped for joy at the thought of having 4 straight weeks off of work.  Must be one of those "be careful what you wish for" kind of situations.  I know my body needs the rest.  I need to heal.  I'm really worried that this injury could last a lifetime and that thought is what's keeping me home from work.  I feel very guilty for not being at work.  I miss the kids.  I do miss the challenges and rewards of getting the kids to learn.  I feel like I'm flaking on those responsibilities.  I feel like I'm letting my grade level team down as well as the parents of my students who have entrusted their children to me in this first year of school.  In all of this I am learning that I have no control.  This was not my fault and accepting that is going to be a learning experience.